relationship advice (post new situation)
"My fiancee."
I cant do anything rite.The other day we got into it,he said i need to clean more,so i do,ive been kissing his ass since.This morning the baby was crying so i brought her to bed.His reaction was,"You dont care that i have to work!"then he stormed out of the room and went to her room.I dont understand.He makes me feel like ****.I do care about him.I just didnt think hed mind.He has to be to work at 10am for gods sake!Its not like he gets up at night to feed and change her.Help.
posted by Leann (age 18) on 8/9/2008 @5:22:35 AM •
This guy sounds like a piece of you-know-what. If I were you, I'd think twice before I married this guy. If he treats you like this now, don't expect it to get any better after you're married. His nasty attitude will only get worse.
And he obviously doesn't care about the baby that much, if he won't even help you care for it.
posted by Kiersten on 8/12/2008
hey i go through the same exact thing! my boyfriend and i have an 11 month old daughter and i hardly have time for cleaning and stuff like that so we always fight over it. he expects me to be super woman or something and have everything done when he gets home..he doesn't go to work until 1 in the afternoon though! and he gets home at 10:30 at night...i guess he thinks that i do nothing but sit around all day..but yeah if you need to talk or anything just send me an e-mail and i will most definitely respond :)
posted by brittany (age 19) on 8/13/2008
hey okayy i think youu need to tlk to himm..
and if he dnt change maybe youu should end it with him.
posted by teela (age 17) on 8/13/2008
No offense, but he sounds like an ****. Like he thinks your the only one that should do work around the house because he "works"

You need to tell him how it is. Its not right for him to treat you like that.
posted by Carrie (age 18) on 8/13/2008
In my opinion I think you need to stop kissing his ass. He is being a jerk it sounds like. It's not like he has to go to work at 5 in the morning or anything so why cant he help you with the baby? It is his too. It takes two to make it, it takes two to take care of it. He can't be mad at you for taking care of it all the time. Babies are exhausting! They cry for no reason, they are awake when you want to go to sleep, they are a lot to handle by yourself. Yeah he has a job but being a parent is a full time job all on its own. He has to realize that. And it sounds to me like you are tired and that is why all of this is so frustrating. Put your foot down and make him watch the baby while you sleep for a few hours. If he wont he isnt worth it. I know you probably dont want to hear that but i was in the same situation and I wasnt being treated fairly and i left. I dont get child support nothing. Thankfully my mom is here to help me. Just put your foot down it shows someones true colors as to whether or not you can count on them in the long run or not. I promise!
posted by Dani (age 19) on 8/13/2008
Don't let him do this to you. He's being a jerk and if I were you I'd give some serious thought about whether or not he wants you and the baby. If he's treating you the way he is then as bad as it is to say, I'd think that you'd be better off without him. Ask him whether or not he really wants you and the baby, but be prepared. Talk to him and see how he feels about the way you feel right now. Sounds like you're doing everything and he isn't being a man and stepping up. Make him step up for once.
posted by Kayla on 8/13/2008
Girl you need to put your argument because he has a stick up his butt literally.. he has a baby with you.. and you stay at home clean and tend to the baby all day and night.. its his baby to i would get his butt up and make him do some things.because you are right he doesnt have be at work till ten a normal job you would have to be at work between 5-8....soo i think he is the one that needs to give you a break you have your hands way more full than him your job is 24 hours unlike his
posted by Kristi (age 18) on 8/13/2008
It seems to me (and this is only an opinion) that your fiancÚ isn't taking much responsibility for himself, with not helping you out with the cleaning, and the baby, and all of that.
Granted, he has to work, and that's good....but a baby is a combined effort, and it's not your fault that the baby was crying, and needed to be consoled. This is something that could blow up into a more extreme problem is you let it go. So without getting in his face about it, you ought to explain to him that you're willing to help clean more, and all of that, but that he needs to 1) be more aware of your feelings in the're not with him to clean up after him all the time, and also try to balance a baby by yourself.
and 2) that he needs to be more compassionate toward the baby. Your child does not need to grow up around that kind of influence....
because (again) while this is only my opinion....he seems short tempered, and babies require patience.
Hope this helps some.
posted by Chelsea (age 18) on 8/13/2008
If it were me, i'd let him know how i felt. I'd also remind him that it's takes TWO to make a baby, so he should start helping out more with it. I mean, don't shove it in his face or anything, but just try to explain and make him understand where your coming from. Just maybe he'd understand
posted by Ashlee on 8/13/2008
Having a child is both parents responsibility. I suggest that you talk to your fiancee and explain to him that while he may be frustrated about the chores around the house, he could also pitch in and help you take care of things. Now that you have a baby to take care of, explain that it is a full time job and you need his help. Make him feel like you need him. Include him in the activities with your child. Maybe you should also suggest taking turns getting up with the baby at night. Try to discuss the issue without getting angry or being negative toward him. Also you could see a relationship counselor if you feel like you cannot talk to him without him getting angry or starting a fight. Just remember that when you do talk to him, try to be rational and not upset.
posted by Nicole (age 19) on 8/13/2008
he sounds kind of condescending and critical of you. you say he makes you feel like ****, well call him on that. if he loves you he'll try to change. its not only your job either to take care of the kid.
posted by lauren (age 19) on 8/14/2008
I think you should talk it out with him. And then if he's still like that, break up with him. You don't need that.
posted by Anonymous on 8/14/2008
It could be that he's feeling the strain of having a new baby and he's taking it out on you. Which I agree, is wrong. Maybe you need to sit him down and talk out exactly why everything is your fault? Make him understand that you are up with the baby all night while he gets sleep and the main part of being in a relationship is compromising. Having a baby is tough and believe me, you don't get to sleep a whole lot. He needs to understand that your relationship isn't about him anymore, it's about the baby and he's going to have to make some sacrifices.
posted by Cory (age 18) on 8/14/2008
you know i had the exact problem with my husband how i fixed it was i told him that if he wants to get mad at me for taking care of my baby then he can do it and when he tells me i need to clean more i tell him he needs to help me if he says it is my job i told him then he needs a second job cause i have 2 i take care of the baby and the house so he can help at the house or he can help by getting a second job for extra money
posted by rebba (age 19) on 8/14/2008

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