other advice (post new situation)
my situation is very complicated when I was 13 which was over 10 years ago I was very heavy into drugs. As my teen years went on I got alot worst.
When I met the man who is my husband today he helped me a great deal...
I was 18 when we met...
Because of him I completely turned my life around... I have been drug free for 6 years and have three beautiful children with one more on the way.... I love my life now... and I love myself... (for the first time in a long time)
But I have this secret that has the potential to ruin all of that... not only would this secret ruin my life but it would ruin a member of my families life as well... (my sister)
When I was 13 I slept with my sister's boyfriend... I have never told her... and her and him are still together...
Is it right for me to tell her now and ruin her life and mine just because I feel guilty and have ever since it happened... but like I said I was very messed up at the time ... I just don't want to allow myself to get away with it... and my poor wonderful husband has made friends with the guy because he's my sister's boyfriend... what should I do ???
posted by Nikki on 8/11/2008 @7:27:02 PM •
Wow, you WERE in some trouble at 13, weren't you? How old is your sister and your sister's boyfriend now? Maybe you should speak to your sister's boyfriend and see if he would also be willing to confess the truth, that way there isn't bad blood between the two of you. What happened was so long ago that your sister will probably forgiven you after she's had time to cope with the news.
posted by Kiersten on 8/12/2008
well, this is a very difficult situation! If it were me, I wouldn't tell her. If everyone is happy with how the way things are, then i'd let it be. yes, i'd still feel guilty about the "incident", but I would rather bear that burdden, than ruin my sister's relationship, and upset the balance of her life. But, that's just what I would do. I hope u make the right decision and everything turns out well.
posted by Ashlee on 8/12/2008
i would. i know its hard but your sister deserves to know what her boyfriend did, and he needs to be held accountable for that. hopefully she will be understanding of what you were going through when your were 13 and realize that if anything, he took advantage of you.
posted by lauren (age 19) on 8/12/2008
I think you should. Just let it out like, "Look, this has been bugging me for a while. A long time ago I... and I feel really bad about it." Like that. I think she'd understand. But idk, tough situation.
posted by Cricketo on 8/12/2008
i wouldnt say anything your ust gunna hurt two pepol you love just to get rid of your guilt
posted by sophie (age 18) on 8/13/2008
okay. wouldn't you think that since you was so messed up in to all that stuff maybe your sister might forgive you sometimes a sisterly bond is more important than a boyfriend even tho they have been together for a long time you still need to let it out you was 13 and messed up bad you prolly wasn't aware of wat you was doing! But the one to be really ashamed is your sisters boyfriend because he knew you was pretty messed up!!!!!!!
posted by Tiffany (age 19) on 8/13/2008
Wow that is a difficult situation and what is worst your husband is buddy with the guy. Well, what is done is done and can't turn back time. But, maybe you can talk to that guy and ask him not to come around so much explain to him that the situation makes you feel very uncomfortable. As far as your sister goes if her marriage is going well do not open that can of worns. keep the peace. Just stay away from drugs or booze which you have done and pray.
Take care and God Bless.
posted by Lana on 9/7/2008

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