family advice (post new situation)
 
 
"is it my prob or his?"
 
i just got off the phone with my fiance and he is going to look at a trailer for us. it is going to cost way more than fixing up a trailer that my parents have for us and he wants to get it today without even letting me look at it. he doesnt think that he should have to show it to me or consult me because he is buying it with HIS money and i did not contribute any money towards it. am i a jerk for feeling like i should be cosulted before he makes a decision that will affect all of our lives (mine, his, our baby's) or is he the jerk for acting like i have no say since its his money?
 
posted by leanne (age 19) on 8/20/2008 @10:52:35 AM •
 
I think that you should both talk about this. Yes it's just a trailor and it is his money, but I'm sure if you wanted to go off and get a car or something in that matter, he wouldn't be too happy if you didn't talk to him about it. Although it was your money. You two are engaged, that is a big difference now and he needs to know that. It's not his money your money, you may have your own seperate money but you are about to be married as one and should start treating each other in that manner. So he should deff talk to you about it, if he doesn't, don't get mad at him. Just tell him that since you two are fixing to be married that he should start to respect your opinion and leave an open invitation for you to have a say-so in his opinion too.
 
posted by Brooke on 8/20/2008
 
IN A WAY HES IN THE WRONG CUZ IF YALL ARE TOGATHER THEN IT SHOULD BE THE BOTH OF YALLS DESION BUT THEN ON THE OTHER HAND HE MIGHT NOT WANT U TO SEE HOW PERFECT HE THINKS IT IS FOR YALLS FAMLIY SO U SHOULD ? UR SELF DO U TRUST HIM I MEAN YES HE IS A GUY LOL BUT YET IF U HAVE TRUST IN HIM THEN ME PERSONALY ID LET HIM DO IT CUZ U SHOULD TRUST HIM NOT TO BE STUPID WITH IT...
 
posted by BECCA (age 18) on 8/20/2008
 
Although it is his money, this is a decision that should be made together if he's expecting you and the baby to live in it also. You have a say in what type of home you want to live in. Try to bring this point up to him in a loving way, without making him feel like you think he's a jerk. If you start
 
posted by Kiersten (age 18) on 8/20/2008
 
No, You have a right to feel concerned. First of all if you guys have a family together then whats his is yours and vice versa. Everything should be shared. If its a decision that can affect your future then ytou definatly have a right to see it, to see how much it is and to help make a plan for whats good for ya'll in the long run.
 
posted by Jessica (age 19) on 8/20/2008
 
you're not the jerk. he should have let you participate in the decision. you guys are getting married. 'his' money is now his and yours. he'll learn that. dont ever think you're wrong for expecting to be treated like part of his life.
 
posted by Joe (age 20) on 8/21/2008
 
First of all, just because is his money wow big deal does not mean you should not have no say on the matter. that alone tells me a lot about him. IF he really loves you he would want your approval and opinion. A healthy relatioship both partners work together in everything. They talk over things and learn to compromise and accept each other without imposing anthing on each other. Respect, kindness and compromising are a big part of a good relatioship. Anytime someone tries to control the other party is not only unhealthy but it may turn into abuse. I do not think you want that and you better set thing straight with him now because latter it will be too late. Remember relatioships are not only sexual they are more than that. I wish you luck , be strong , stay on your ground, be specific with him and pray. I may be able to give my humble advice but God can give exactly what you need. Take care and God Bless.
 
posted by Lana on 9/7/2008
 


 
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