relationship advice (post new situation)
 
 
" I'VE LOST MY TRUE LOVE"
 
I'M KIMBERLY 39 I MET THIS PERFECT MAN 2 YRS AGO ON SINGLEPARENTMEET SITE WE TALKED FOR 2 WEEKS AND MET A MONTH LATER. WE BOTH FELL IN LOVE THAT WEEK. 4 MONTHS LATER MY DAUGHTER & I MOVED TO WI TO LIVE W/ROB AND HIS 2 BOYS. ROBS WIFE DIEED A YR EARLIER OF BONE CANCER, THEY WERE MARRIED 23 YRS.HIS BOYS ARE 14/18 NOW.MY DAUGHTER IS 17
ANYWAYS AFTER WE MOVED IN FOR THE FIRST 6 MONTHS IT WAS LIKE I HAD DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN..BAD CHOICE OF WORDS BUT TRUE. WE WERE SO DEEPLY IN LOVE. BUT THEN THE $$$ BECAME AN ISSUE AND I TOLD ROB A LIE AND KEPT IT GOING SO THAT THERE WOULD BE FALSE HOPE OF GAINING MORE $$$ MEANWHILE, I WAS PLOTTING WAYS TO GET THIS $$$ I HAD PROMISED HIM OUT OF MY DIV.THAT WAS NOT TRUE..MY EX HUSBAND HAD NOTHING..BUT I HAD TO MAKE HIM THINK HE DID SO HE WOULD NOT FEEL LESS OF ME. I WORKED PT FOR A NEWSPAPER BUT THE MONEY WAS NOT ENOUGH..AND THE MORE HE PUSHED ABOUT WHEN I WAS TO GET THIS $$$ THE MORE PRESSURE IT WAS AND THE MORE LIES I TOLD. ROB IS AN HONEST TRUTHFUL MAN AND HIS WORD IS GOLD.AND I JUST KEPT LIEING IN HOPES MY STOCKS WOULD PAY OFF OR THE LOTTO WILL HIT FOR ME.SILLY I KNOW BUT THIS IS HOW I FELT. FINALLY THE END CAME IT DID NOT MATTER HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM OR HE LOVED ME HE CALLED ME UP ON MY STORYS AND FOUND OUT THE TRUTH AND THREW MY DAUGHTER & I OUT OF HIS HOME..BUT IN THE SAME BREATH HOW HE STILL LOVES ME...WELL WHEN ALL THIS HAPPENED I DID NOT TELL HIM I WAS PREGNANT. WHEN WE LEFT I WAS NEARLY 4 MONTHS ALONG. I TOLD HIM IN SEPT. THAT WE WERE HAVING A BABY WELL HE WENT OFF THE HANDEL AND I HATE YOU YOUR NOT THE WOMAN I WANT...ECT ECT. UNTIL RECENTLY 2 WEEKS AGO HE HAD THIS CHANGE OF HEART AND WANTED TO GET BACK TOGETHER AND RAISE OUR KIDS AS A COUPLE.BUT HE DOES NOT TRULY LIKE CHILDREN I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT HE ONLY HAS THE BOYS BECAUSE SHE WANTED THEM HE DID NOT. ALL HE SPOKE OF WAS HIS FREEDOM IN 6 YRS.I GOT PREG. 2'X DURING THE PAST YR 1/2 AND HE MADE ME ABORT. BUT THIS TIME I WAS NOT GOING TO..THATS WHY LEAVING WAS KIND OF A BLESSING, I GOT TO KEEP MY PREGNACY. TO BE HONEST I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE COMPLETELY TIL I MET ROB.HE MAKES ME SMILE, CRY, LAUGH, I STILL GET BUTTERFLIES WHEN I HEAR HIS VOICE OR IF I KNOW HES CALLING ME, I'M VERY SAD SINCE WE SPLIT MY HEART WEIGHS HEAVY I SOB NIGHTLY OVER HIM.AND YES HE KNOWS THIS.....I GAVE BIRTH TO OUR TWIN BOYS X-MAS EVE MORNING. YES 4 DAYS AGO. THEY WERE PLACED UP FOR ADOPTION. FATHER UNKNOWN..PER HIS ORIGNIAL REQUEST BEFORE HE CHANGED HIS MIND HE WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM OR ME. I CALLED HIM THE NIGHT MY WATER BROKE HE NEVER CALLED BACK. I CALLED HIS FAMILY AND THEY SAID HE DID'NT CARE...BUT I KNOW HE DOES. I FEEL LIKE I'M DIEING INSIDE BUT I KNEW I COULD NOT RAISE THESE BABIES ALONE AND ADOPTION WAS THE BEST CHOICE. OUR BOYS ARE WITH A LOVING COUPLE WHO WANTED CHILDREN FOR YRS.BUT SHE COULD NOT GET PREG. THEREFORE OUR BOYS ARE THEY'RE GIFT OF A FAMILY. I KNEW ROB TRULY DID NOT WANT TO RAISE KIDS AGAIN. SO IT MADE IT EASY TO LET THEM GO TO A FAMILY THAT COULD SUPPORT THEM AND LOVE THEM. I LOVED EVERY MOMENT WITH THEM INSIDE MY BODY BUT I HONESTLY WAS NOT ABLE TO TAKE THIS ON ALONE.SO I MADE A HARD CHOICE THAT I CAN LIVE WITH. BUT THE MAN I LOVE IS LOST AND NOT THERE FOR ME BECAUSE I LIED ABOUT $$$ AND I REFUSED TO RAISE KIDS WITH HIM THAT HE MADE CRYSTAL CLEAR HE DID NOT WANT. MY HEART ACHES TERRIBLY AND I CANT MOVE ON WITHOUT HIM. I KNOW THIS IS NOT YOUR TYPICAL ADVICE QUESTION BUT WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE? I LOVE THIS MAN WITH ALL OF MY BEING AND I DON'T WANT A LIFE WITHOUT HIM. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LET GO AND I CAN'T. I KNOW HE STILL LOVES ME..BUT THIS HURTS AND I'M AFRAID TO GO BACK TO WI NOT OUT OF FEAR OF HIM BUT MY HEART. I MISS EVERYTHING WITH HIM OUR LIFE OUR FAMILY BUT WE ARGUED OVER $$$ THAT WAS OUR ONLY BIG TIFFS.

PLEASE HELP ME.

I LOVE THIS MAN AND I WANT TO BE WITH HIM AGAIN..BUT I'M STILL BROKE AND FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS I'M TRYING TO HEAL. THIS X-MAS WAS SO HARD.BEFORE I MET ROB I WAS BUYING MY CONDO HAD A GREAT JOB I LOVED AND JUST BOUGHT MY FIRST NEW CAR.AND I GAVE EVERYTHING UP FOR HIM AND NOW I HAVE NOTHING. JUST AN EMPTY HEART, A LOW RENT SMALL HOUSE I SHARE WITH MY DAUGHTER AND NO MONEY, I STRUGGLE DAILY WITH MY LIFE. I'M STILL ALONE AND I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR MY WORLD. AND ALL I CAN FOCUS ON IS GETTING HIM BACK. I KNOW ITS NOT HEALTHY. I STILL PRAY EVERYDAY HE WILL CONTACT ME AND TELL ME TO COME HOME. BUT REALISTICALLY WITH OPEN EYES IT WON'T HAPPEN.ATLEAST NOT TODAY.
 
posted by KIMBERLY on 12/29/2007 @1:22:01 AM •
 
i am so sorry all of that has happened to you. you must be a strong woman to have gone through all of that. really the word 'strong' doesn't even explain what you must be. i don't even know you and i am proud of you. most people would totally give up, but you seem to roll with the punches and i think that's awesome. i admire people like you.

about you and the ex- if you guys are meant to be, it will happen. as much as you love him, it seems like you guys are worlds apart. really, you seem to be much, much mature than he. you have been independent before and you can do it again. i know it must be hard, but i'm sure your daughter loves you very much. you may not have as much as you had before, but that just takes some time. don't hang on to what you had. hold your head high and focus on making the best life for yourself and your daughter. is it him that you love or the idea of what he could be? do you really truly want someone who doesn't like kids?

i'm sure your christmas was hard. i'm sorry. all i can say is you did such an amazing thing for a family. really, it seems like right now, focus on what a blessing you have been. you have completed a family somewhere. you have given someone more than i could ever give. that's so crazy! only good things can come of that.

as much as you don't think you are, you are an inspiration. most people couldn't/wouldn't do the incredible things you have done. kudos.
 
posted by sammie on 12/29/2007
 


 
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