relationship advice (post new situation)
"I thought we were best friends"
My best friend & roommate of three years and I have gotten along great up until the last 2 months. We planned to move off campus next year together and even go to grad school afterward, but something went wrong and I don't know what it is. Now he doesn't seem interested in either off-campus or grad school (with me), though he says it still "might" happen (it went from a hopeful certainty to an "if it happens it happens" attitude). We've always been able to talk things out, but now I think we're at a crossroads. I try to talk and he says it's all in my head, and that nothing is different, but all of our friends think something is different about him. I feel alone whenever it's just him and me in the room... he only talks to me when he wants something or wants me to drive him someplace. He's becoming (in my opinion) a little bit reckless too. He's my best friend and it's eating me up inside that I don't know what is happening, or what I'm doing or have done wrong. And to make matters worse, if I lose him as a friend, I won't have anyone I feel close to left in my life (I don't have a bio-family, & all of our friends are, at the end of the day, his friends, and while they might think I'm right, they've already said they'll side with him). He's been like a brother to me, but now he's almost deliberately hurtful, or just so ignorant of how his actions affect others that I feel hurt just by being around him (he never wants to hang out, unless someone else does the asking... and he says it isn't me, but if one person asks you to do something and you say "no," and another person asks you to do the same thing and you say "yes," what else can the first person conclude [upon repeated conclusive tests of the hypothesis] but that it is in fact the person who does the asking that matters when it so clearly appears to affect the outcome of the response?). I just feel isolated... and I don't know whether it's best to wait and hope he comes around or to cut him out... I know I can't live in this uncomfortable, emotional stalemate for very much longer. I want my friend back.
posted by Ollie (age 22) on 11/3/2008 @9:25:26 AM •
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