family advice (post new situation)
"my mother"
OK, so I am 22 years old, and I still live with my mother. I have no job, no money, friends live far away, I don't go out much either. This is all because I live with my mother who works at nights and sleeps during the day time. So she needs me at home to take care of my sister, clean, cook.. etc. But there have been numerous occasions when I didn't do something right, or was being to slow, and my mother would get pretty violent. For example 2 weeks ago. I told her I would do major cleaning on a Monday. So my little sister wouldn't be in my way. Well the weekend before that Monday my sister got sick. So she stayed home from school. We slept in a little. (9am). After we got up, I thought a good breakfast could help my little sister. So I went and made her pancakes, and eggs. ll of a sudden my mother storms out of her room, and yells at me that it is almost 10am and I still haven't done anything around the house. She grabbed a porcelain plate off of the counter and smashed it to the ground. While still shouting at me that I'm lazy. I'm useless, I'm stupid, and everything else you can imagine. She then grabbed our big glass fruit tray, and smashed that to the ground. Then walked over to the fridge. The top of it had a lot of glass bottles, and vases on it. She decided to push those off as well. I was standing in the kitchen. With glass everywhere. She looked at me and said to start cleaning. I had to walk across the glass covered kitchen floor to get to the broom. It was a terrible day. It didn't end there. She made a mess in almost every room. So I spent most of the day cleaning.

She always tells me how I don't do anything unless she yells at me. Almost every day. I don't see it that way. I get up in the morning every day to get my sister ready for school and then take her. While she is there, I clean, I cook, i do laundry, I got shopping for stuff we need at home. Then at 3 o'clock I go and get my sister from school. We sit down and do homework, the she eats, and runs off to watch TV. Then every day at 5 o'clock I take her to the playground, and we walk her dog. At 6 it's bath time, and at 7 its bed time. I tuck her in, I have her read to me for 20 minutes. She then watches TV until 8pm. Then its sleeping time. But I am still not finished. I have to clean up the mess she left there. Shoes socks etc. Dirty dishes and what not. Then at 9pm I have to get my mom up, so she can start getting ready for work. I make her food so she has lunch. I make sure she has diet coke waiting for her. Then she leaves at 9:45pm. After that I can finally sit down a little and do something for myself. But only until 11pm. Because I am not allowed to stay up later then that.

Now i have had all my friends and ex co-workers tell me that I need to pack up and leave. I would love to do so. But my mother is so smart. She can come up with almost anything to make me feel guilty. I have hurt myself many times over it too. So I am so scared to stand up and tell her that I'm moving out. I have no money, I have no job, I have no car. I have nothing. I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. Sometimes when I almost have the backbone to tell her I'm moving out, I start to feel guilty and back down. Today, she accused me of stealing money from the family. I would never ever do such a thing. She even told me she was going to call the cops on me. That really hurt me. That she jumped to conclusions just like that. after about 2 hours of counting. It turned out that there was no money missing after all.

I feel so small and insignificant around her. I feel like I have to walk around on egg shells whenever she is home.

OK I have written a whole book here. Ill let you get to your advice giving.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.

posted by Alexandra (age 22) on 11/4/2008 @11:07:55 AM •
* no advice has been shared.

  [ disclaimer ] [ sign in ] [ contact us ] [ search ]
please take reasonable measures to protect your safety and privacy when posting situations or advice or participating in an exchange. read more... © word of advice, & powered by simplifyit. site map.