life advice (post new situation)
"Muddled at 21"
Hi this is my first time on here. I need advice on my muddled life. I am 21 and I rarely go out Im pretty, well educated and a very creative person. At the moment I am not depressed but I have this inability to relax and commit to anything for fear of other people and theyre opinions. I also am trying to decide wether I want my bf of 4 yrs back. He owns his own business and is very supportive but a little immature for me and we used to fight a lot. i still love him and he seems like he has changed too. I am overall very lonely and afraid and my family dosent help either. i have an overbearing ****y 13 year old sister and a riteous 19 year old brother who makes me feel like i am worthless. hes not mean but lately we have had disagreements. I really just want to break away and eventually get enough money to start my life fresh in a different place. I live at home and I always run out of money because Im in a difficult position with a back injury. I know its probablylong and boring but if you have any advice on any of what Ive mentioned i would be grateful.
posted by Jess on 12/29/2007 @2:41:25 AM •
firstly, i have been there. actually, you sound A LOT like me (minus the brother). i realized that no one's opinions matter but mine. it is such an easy thing to say, but so much harder to apply. you don't need anyone. you are the same age i was when i decided i had to control my own life. i wanted independence so bad i could taste it. after everyone else saw how determined i was to be on my own, everyone in my family became righteous also. don't let them bother you. actually, because of my 'i'm too good for you' family, i am a much stronger person. i have been out of my parent's home for about 6 months and LOVE it. i also had lots of bills, but somehow it all worked out. just trust in yourself. you can do whatever it is you want. i know that being on your own may seem overwhelming, you can do it!!

also, about the flags go up when the first thing you mention is that he owns a business. make sure you are going back to him because you really really REALLY want him, not his money (or anything else). i dated the same guy for 3 years, broke-up with him, and felt like i had to have him back. i refrained and am so much happier now than i ever could have been with him. also, if he has a company and you just want to get away, how easy would it be for him to uproot everything he's worked for there?

i know there's a lot to do and think about, but don't worry, you can do it!!
posted by paula on 12/29/2007

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