relationship advice (post new situation)
"Still in love with my ex. i need serious"

I broke up with my ex 4 months ago. Things were going south & I came to the point where I couldn't take it any more. I felt I started becoming second in his life (to everything) so I ended the relationship. He was going through ome rough times & I should have been there for him...but I wasn't. Not because I didn't love him. I just couldn't handle it. I really didn't understand. Growing up in a sheltered home like mine I didn't know how to deal with the problems he was having. I know he's the only one for me. I've always known that in my heart but I just wasn't strong enough to fight for our relationship any more. I feel so guilty for turning my back on him when he needed me the most.

I havent seen or heard from him since the break-up. I have no idea how he's taken it. If he's moved on. If he's happy with someone new. All I know is that I'm miserable. I've never felt so low & alone in my entire life. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man. I still do. I miss him like crazy. We talked about marriage & kids. I'm still in college so I didn't want all of those things just yet but he was ready for them. He knew way before me that we were perfect for each other in every way. He's all I've thought about since the break-up.

Yesterday I finally decided to get the guts & call him. I did. A guy (I think it was his uncle) picked up. I asked for my ex & his uncle said that he didn't live there any more. So I asked if there was a way I could get in touch with him, if he had a number or something & he was very rude. He said that no there wasn't & hung up the phone on me. I'm pretty sure he knows it was me. Thing is, I have no idea why he was so hostile. He always liked me while my ex & I were together.

I didn't sleep all night last night. I spend it crying instead.I have no other way of reaching him. I have no idea where he could be. There aren't any places that he usually hangs out with. He really didn't have many friends. When we started dating he had just moved here from another state so he pretty much spend all his time with me, my friends & his job. I can'tgo to his job cause he doesn't work there any more.

I feel like now that I finally KNOW that he's the ONE for me & I'm willing to take it to the next level, I've lost him forever. What am I suppose to do now? I can't stop crying. I feel like a part of my died. What if I never see him again? I'm not sure how to handle this.

Someone please help me. I can't talk to any of my friends about this. They have nothing helping to say. They've tried asking around but no one's heard anything. How does a person just drop off the face off the earth?
posted by Naynay (age 21) on 11/18/2008 @4:38:01 PM •
* no advice has been shared.

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