life advice (post new situation)
"12 year old"
I am a married 40 year old man and I have a 3 year old girl with my wife. My wife has a 12 year old son who has been living overseas with his grandmother for the past year. The boy is mentally ill with diagnosis ranging from Oppositional Defiance to Autism to Asperger's Syndrome. The bottom line is he is unsafe to live with, speaks inappropriately to adults, has assaulted me and others and now due to a host of reasons, he is returning home and will be living with us. We can't manage him. He can't go into residential care for at least a year and I don't know whether I should leave my wife and live on my own with my daughter. I don't want my daughter to be around him. HELP.
posted by Richard (age 40) on 11/25/2008 @10:33:37 AM •
Well for starters, just my advice i don't think you should leave your wife. i think things might get very stressful but the whole point of marriage is to work through the hard times, not to just give up when things aren't easy anymore. if the situation gets dangerous i'm sure there are things you can do. Research things that might help this kid and make things slightly easier to bear. Honestly i think leaving her should be a last last resort and only if it gets dangerous for your daughter and temporarily. But i hope everything works out.
posted by traci (age 21) on 12/7/2008
I realize your step son may be difficult, but someone has to love this child.

My daughter has autism & she's hard to handle, but she is the love of my life.

Now, if you, your wife and your daughter can't love him like he needs to be loved, I'm sure there are many boarding schools that would love him and take care of him.

Don't leave your wife for something like this.
posted by Athena on 12/21/2008

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