family advice (post new situation)
"Abandoning my children"
My husband is a wonderful father. He is 1 in a million with our children. But he is so emotionally & verbally abusive to me. My children are 8 months and 2 years old. I am so much emotionally pain that it's physical. I am on Zoloft for postpartum depression/anxiety. He saids that I am the reason that he is abusive. That he is different with everyone else and that I create a monster in him. He wants me to leave and leave the children with him. I have no support system, i.e. family, friends, etc. I have found an share apartment situation. If I leave in a couple of weeks, I would leave my children. I know that he will be good to them. How do I get through this? Will I lose custody of my children? Will he say that I abandoned my children? I will take them on on Wednesday, Thursday, & Friday.
posted by Pauline (age 35) on 11/25/2008 @12:41:58 PM •
Before you think you'll lose your children forever, think about a worst-case: Britney. From what I've seen, the court recognizes change, and nearly always favors the mother. I'd suggest talking to a lawyer to make sure, of course.

You're not the reason he's abusive; he lets the monster out all by himself. It sounds like you've got so so much going on, and communicating with your husband just isn't working well... Maybe you could talk to a third party - a minister, somebody like that - and they can help him see your perspective... Again - you can't make somebody be abusive. That's just dumb that he would suggest that's possible.

I'm sorry all this is happening to you. Just remember that situations change, and nothing is permanent. That doesn't make the now feel good, but you there is definitely hope for you.
posted by jon on 11/26/2008

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