relationship advice (post new situation)
"Where did my realationship go?"
kay so me and my ex boyfriend/best friend/only friend i have anyways we startd going out in 2005 we were good had arguments here and there but borderline perfect we were together for almost 3 years and then one day he started talkin bout taking a break in the year 2008 we were 11 12 when we first started to date n we were in love he was there for me throgh thick n thin i gave up friends family everything just because i loved him if he didnt like the friends i had i gave them up for him niow that i think about it that was the first wrong thing i did in the realationship but he also did it for me if i dint like who he was hanging out with we just tried to keep each other safe basically going off topic again he said he wanted to take a break mind you we never took a break before i was stressed i was scared terrified n so on i didnt know what to think or do i kinda just left it at that n kept going on with our realationship as if he never said that he has this friend who had a new girl friend we went on a few double dates but me n the girl never really talked until one of their baseball games i was sitting alone n she just started to talk to me i had a good time talking to her n a few days later we hung out togetehr i had fun so i started to hang out with her more often she hung out with alot of guys she was the shy type though n me wen i get to know you ill be hella loud n stuff so i was getting to know the guys more n more and started to hang out with her n them alot of course he didnt like that i did n understood that but what else was i supposd to do be isolated in my house all day because he wants me to not hang out with anybody? i did that for 3 years n i didnt want to do it anymore one night i was with my friend dannika n brandi n me here n my boyfriend n few other people went toilet papering right when i got into the car my boyfriend had gave me a dirty look like he really didnt want me there i asked him if it were okay if i was here n he said yeah he didnt talk to me the whole time i finaly got fed up with him n asked him if he wanted to take that break now? he looked at me said yes n went up in the front of the van got all pissed off n started drinking so we finaly get to where we were supposed to go n he is sitting on the corner mopeing around i go up to him n was like whats wrong can we talk so we talk n he gets mad n says he wishes he never met me i get upset get up walk away from everybody punched everything in sight i was so pissed so i get home i go to sleep he doesnt call me until the next morning n all he says is well i guess we are over huh? n i told him i dont want to be over but we just gotinto an argument later on that day he calls me but i was with my family n i culdnt talk so i told him id call him back later that day i call him back he doesnt pick up after that day i kinda gave up i started hanging out more with people i really shouldnt have been hanging out with at all i started doing alot of drugs drinking and ridiculously having sex with alot of people i dont know why i did it i just did i knew people were telling him everything i did so he was hurt cause i was doin all that n he was hurting cuz i broke his heart just as much as he broke mine i was copeing in the wrong way i guess so for months we didnt talk n one day he was walking by my house n we seen each other n got to talking later on that night he came by cuz i asked him too so we can talk i told him i missed him n i wanted him back in my life i culdnt bare it any longer i was doing things i shouldnt i wanted him to be there with me to help me theough thick n thin like we were before i knew everything was gunna be diffrent because i hurt him n so on but i dint care i just wanted him back so we started talking n just hanging out just as friends things became physical n emotional between us again which was good we were closer than ever for a long time he tells me everyday its hard for him to get back together with me becuase all the hurtful things i did to him a year ago i do everything for him no matter what it is i do for him just as much as he does for me he thinks he is my last resort becuse i dont talk to all those guys anymore n they dont talk to me but he isnt i tell him that everyday i tell him i love him n only him i really do love him i dont know what to do without him im a miserable reck without him i know i shouldnt be that way its not healthy its not right for my mind but i cant help it well a few days ago i asked him if he loved me n he said yes but i kina want to have fun live my life like you did so basically he wanted to talk to other girls i caught him talking to some girls of course i was hurt but we arnt toegther so i culdnt really be mad at him funny part about that is that he felt bad about it but now he says he wants to go out n have fun with girls i told him wouldnt he feel just as bad becuse he says he loves me n now he wants to go be with other girls he just says i dont get your question so that night i told him i was done he can go n do whatever he wants i dont care so we dont talk for a few days i went to his house to talk to his mom n just get away from mine because i was going crazy the day after al that happend i was waiting for my period to come it was a few days late i was worried but i wasnt in the right state of mind i was teling myself that i wanted to keep the baby if i am i was telling myself it would make me happy idk i had a feeling it would change my life for the better not the worse i talked to my cousin about it n he told me that isnt wasnt a good idea cuz im young n so on so i went over to his house to talk to his mo bout things n get advice because he said he wants to go have fun n stuff like that but still expect me to spend the night n hang out with him n do everything for him so bascally his mom said no he cant have his cake n eat it too which is the same thing i got out of a few other people i talked to about our situation so i walk in his room n the first thing he says is you cant text anybody anymore? i said sorry i just dont want to be on your nuts you know n he says well your not you can just see what im doing n what not i told him well you said you wanted your space so im giving it to you i dont want to be on your nuts and in your business he just sayd hmm n leaves his little siter was mad because i havnt seen her in 2 days so that means i have to go over there more often than i thought i had to which sucks because of the awakwardness between me n him so anyways monday comes along n we are talking i tell him im not feeling good he asks wants wrong n i tel him i have cramos n im jjust deperessed i told him that i thought i was pregnant n i kinda wanted to keep it but i told him i dodnt want to be with him though i just wanted the baby so it can make me happy or make my life better but then as we got into the conversation i told him that i was thinking about it n maye it wouldnt go as i wanted it to so it was good i got my period so today i go to his house hang out go to his cousins baseball game i leave i call him he doesnt answer he calls me back n tells me that i shocked him n scared him becuase of what i told him he thinks i am trying to trap him into being with me which is something im not trying to do its just that day i was depressed n i was thining in the wrong way so he tell me that he doesnt even want to touch me cuz he thinks im goin to trap him into getting me pregnant im trying to explain n talk to him cuz i have no one else to talk to n he hangs up n urns off his phone i dont know what to do with myself i just want to die i dont know what to think i dont know what to do i need help i dont know anymore
posted by gaby on 4/29/2009 @12:02:24 AM •
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