family advice (post new situation)
"Dnt knw where to turn"
I have been married to the same man for 16 years. I met him wen i was just 17.i knew him two weeks and i was pregnant. The whole time we have been married he has had a drinking problem. He is a good provider but thats about it. he never does family things with us.I left him for 3 months.One of our close friends and i talked and before we knew it we were in love.the way i have been treated over the years from my husband has been terrible there is a lot of emotional and mental abuse but i came back to him . He promised me things would change and he would treat me better and the drinking would stop.So i ended my relationship with my friend. He loved me so much he told me to go and try to make my family work he loved me so much that if it didn't work he would be there for me wen i was ready.Well i've been back since November my home is actually worse i tried talking to him but he gives me a huge guilt trip.on the day before mothers day he got so drunk picked at me and my daughter so bad he made her cry. she begged him to go to bed and leave her alone but he didn't and i had to drag him back to our bed room and put him to bed. i try to avoid sleeping with him and having sex because i can't stand him touching me he makes me sick!!! the next day he woke up and was yelling out loud how he was sick of me not having sex with him and sleeping with him. he said some very crude things my daughter and her friend heard it all!!!!!! im so tired i've tried to make this work, its harder now because now i know there is someone who loves me and did treat me better than i ever got treated here. i still love him should i go or stay?

posted by judy on 5/19/2009 @7:32:15 AM •
i know the traditional family is what we all dream of - a mom, a dad and the together happily ever after. the reality is just not that. you have to do what's best for you and your daughter. keeping her there is only making her think that maybe her lifestyle is okay. you need to teach her that it's not okay for someone to do or say the things he does. i'm sure you don't want her growing up and getting in the same position, but the truth is most girls look for guys just like their dads. by setting a good example and getting yourself and her out of that, you are showing her two things: 1. it's not okay to be treated anything less than the best, and 2. you can always get out. don't make a mistake that you made as a teen mess up your whole life and hers. you guys are worth so much more than that. no one deserves to be put through that. good luck! the road will be tough, but so worth it.
posted by sam on 5/19/2009
PLEASE for your daughter sake move on ...leave the loser.
posted by marie on 7/8/2009

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