relationship advice (post new situation)
 
 
"In love with a man everyone hates"
 
Dear Steve and Shirley,
I have a major dilemma that has been on my mind for over 2 and a half years now. About four years ago I met a young man he was 20 and I was a 22 year old single mother. We fell in love and moved in only after dating for two months. I was his first love and not only did he fall for me but adored my son. However, he became so worried that someone would take me from his life that he slowly cut off my friends and eventually my family. He kept me and my son away for my parents who have supported me and been there for me my whole life. After a year, this took a toll on me and I decided to leave him and move back with my parents. Now since then I have done well for myself, I have a good job, I go to college, and Iím a wonderful mother but all the while I am at my parents beck and call. They are dramatic, over reactive, and I feel that I'm simply living my life for them. Through this whole time I have not been able to be happy with another man because all I think of is him. I love him with all my heart. When it was just me and him together I felt the world disappear but I could not stand the way he became the "tough guy" when we got around other people ESPECIALLY my family. While we were apart he got himself into big trouble with the law and has done some time. I knew that for one after losing his family, me and my son, he changed dramatically. Like you said in your book Steve when a man watches the woman he loves walk out the door and he truly loves her, he realizes what she means to him. Also, after losing quite some time out of his life he has realized how precious life is. He says he can be the man I want him to, he will do anything for me attend our church (not just for me but for himself to grow a relationship with God) and seek counseling, anything just to have his family back. I KNOW he has changed, I feel it in my soul. I prayed to GOD every night for the past two years to answer my prayers and not for what I wanted but for what GOD wants whether itís for me to be with this guy or not. And now I just feel like it's time. I am ready to move out and have a family of my own and so is he. The problem is my family HATES him. My father said he would disown me if I ever spoke to this man again. My mom said she would never forgive me. Among them several of my friends are not happy with the fact that I love him. My question Steve and Shirley is if I truly love him and know that I will be living a lie if Iím not with him is it worth turning my back on my family in hopes that they will forgive us and love my son enough to want to continue to be a part of our lives? Please help I have nowhere else to go.
Love Always,
Lost in Love
 
posted by Kristina (age 26) on 5/26/2009 @8:58:30 PM •
 
* no advice has been shared.


 
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